Stop Wasting Money on Dating Apps
I'm Paw Markus and everyone has weird thoughts in the shower. The difference is most people keep them to themselves.
Here are 105 shower thoughts that make you seem deep, funny, or delightfully strange.
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How to Answer A Thought I Recently Had in the Shower
Shower thoughts work because they show how your mind works when it's wandering. Pick ones that reveal your humor, curiosity, or unique perspective on life. Skip anything too dark or too basic.
Copy These Shower Thought Answers
- If parallel parking was an Olympic sport, I'd be watching from the stands with everyone else.
- The word 'abbreviated' is way too long for what it's trying to accomplish.
- We teach kids not to talk to strangers, then spend our adult lives trying to network.
- If you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner cleaner.
- The phrase 'don't worry, be happy' is basically 'have you tried not being sad?' in song form.
- Dating apps are just adult Pokemon: gotta catch 'em all, but most are disappointments.
- The Olympics should have an event for everyday tasks like untangling Christmas lights.
- If you replace 'W' with 'T' in 'what,' 'where,' and 'when,' you get 'that,' 'there,' and 'then.'
- The person who coined the phrase 'money doesn't buy happiness' clearly never paid off student loans.
- We say 'after dark' but it's actually after light.
- If you're waiting for a waiter, aren't you the waiter?
- The alphabet is in that order because of a song, and that's terrifying organizational strategy.
- Ducks must think it's raining bread sometimes.
- We park in driveways and drive on parkways because English gave up on making sense.
- Your future self is watching you through memories like you're watching your past self.
- If you think about it, every day is exactly 24 hours away from being the same day next week.
- The phrase 'slept like a baby' clearly wasn't coined by anyone who's actually met a baby.
- We accept that water makes us clean, but we can't drink pool water. Standards are weird.
- If you're home alone and you hear a noise, you're both the investigator and the potential victim.
- The word 'queue' is just the letter Q followed by four silent letters waiting their turn.
- We trust stairs going up but doubt them going down. Gravity trust issues.
- If you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room but less bedroom.
- The first person to eat a mushroom was either very brave or very hungry.
- We say 'heads up' when we want someone to duck. Mixed messages.
- If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes than before.
- The phrase 'expectant parents' suggests all other parents are pessimistic about their kids.
- We spend the first year teaching kids to walk and talk, then the next 18 telling them to sit down and shut up.
- If you're born in a hospital, technically you're born in the same room as hundreds of other people.
- The letter 'X' is used more in math than in regular writing, making it the most overqualified letter.
- We say something is 'out of whack' but never 'in whack.'
- If you're driving behind someone going the speed limit, they're going too slow. If someone's behind you, you're going too slow.
- The word 'phonetic' isn't spelled phonetically, which seems like false advertising.
- We trust GPS more than our own knowledge of places we've lived for years.
- If you clean the house while the kids are home, it's like brushing your teeth while eating cookies.
Deep Shower Thoughts That Impress
Sometimes your shower thoughts get philosophical. These show you think about bigger questions without being pretentious about it.
Copy These Thoughtful Shower Answers
- Every decision you didn't make created a different version of your life that you'll never know.
- We're all just collections of atoms that became conscious and now contemplate their own existence.
- Time goes faster as we age because each year becomes a smaller percentage of our total life experience.
- We worry about artificial intelligence becoming human, but we should worry about humans becoming artificial.
- Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, carrying stories you'll never hear.
- We spend our whole lives learning to be ourselves, then change completely every few years.
- The reason we can't remember being babies is the same reason we can't remember most of yesterday.
- We're living in the future that past people dreamed about, but we're still complaining about WiFi speed.
- Every photo you take is you sending a message to your future self from your past self.
- We use technology to connect with people far away while ignoring people next to us.
- The present moment is the only time that actually exists, but we spend it thinking about other times.
- We're all just temporary arrangements of stardust pretending to understand the universe.
- The person you are in your head is different from who you are to everyone else.
- We judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.
- Every skill you have is just your brain creating new neural pathways until something difficult becomes easy.
- We're the first generation of humans who document everything but might leave the least physical evidence.
- Language is just agreed-upon sounds that represent thoughts, and somehow it works most of the time.
- We spend more time planning vacations than planning our actual lives.
- Every expert was once a beginner, but we forget that when we're intimidated by learning something new.
- We're living through history right now, but it just feels like regular Tuesday.
- The concept of 'normal' is just what most people happen to do, not what's actually right or best.
- We can send messages instantly around the world but still struggle to communicate with people we love.
- Every book you don't read is a whole world you'll never experience.
- We're the universe experiencing itself through consciousness, which is either beautiful or terrifying.
- The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just putting in a little extra effort.
Completely Random Shower Brain
Sometimes your shower thoughts make no sense and that's perfect. These show you have a weird brain that goes interesting places.
Copy These Wonderfully Weird Shower Answers
- Do fish get thirsty or do they just live in their drink?
- If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
- Why do we say 'take a dump' when we're actually leaving one?
- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
- Do blind people see their dreams?
- Why is it called a 'building' when it's already built?
- If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- Why do we press harder on the remote when the batteries are dying?
- If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- Why do they call it rush hour when nobody's moving?
- If you ate yourself, would you become twice as big or disappear completely?
- Why do we say 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
- If you're born deaf, what language do you think in?
- Why do they put Braille dots on drive-through ATMs?
- If you're driving at the speed of light and turn on your turn signal, does it work?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If you dig a hole through the center of the earth and jump in, would you come out the other side or get stuck in the middle?
- Why do we call it a 'hot water heater' when we're heating cold water?
- If you're traveling at the speed of sound and fart, do you smell it immediately?
- Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' when afterwards it doesn't work?
- If you're immortal and get a life sentence, do you just wait it out?
- Why do we park on driveways but drive on parkways?
- If you're in a spaceship traveling at the speed of light and walk toward the front, are you moving faster than light?
- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when you only get one?
- If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
- Why do we say 'heads up' when we want someone to look down?
- If you're colorblind, do you dream in black and white or do you see colors you can't see when awake?
- Why is abbreviated such a long word?
- If you're waiting for the waiter, aren't you the waiter?
- Why do we say something is 'out of whack'? What's whack?
- If you clean a vacuum, do you become a vacuum cleaner?
- Why do we call it 'after dark' when it's actually after light?
- If you're born in a hospital, the building you're born in is probably the same as hundreds of other people.
- Why do we trust elevators but not ladders?
- If you replace 'W' with 'T' in Where, When and What, you get There, Then and That.
- Why do we say 'good morning' when we don't really want it to be morning?
- If you're reading this in your head, whose voice are you using?
- Why do we call them apartments when they're all stuck together?
- If you're driving behind someone and they're going the speed limit, why does it feel slow?
- Why do we say 'take a seat' when we're not actually taking it anywhere?
- If you're in a pool and someone pees, does the whole pool become 99% water and 1% pee?
- Why do we call it 'falling asleep' when we're actually lying down?
- If you're bald, what hair color do they put on your driver's license?
- Why do we say 'you can't have your cake and eat it too' when the whole point of having cake is to eat it?
- If you're immortal for 1,000 years, are you still mortal on the 1,001st year?
- Why do we call them 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
The Beauty of Shower Thoughts
The best shower thoughts show how your mind works when it's not trying to impress anyone. They reveal whether you're philosophical, absurd, curious, or just plain weird - and all of those can be attractive to the right person.
Pick thoughts that feel authentically yours. If you're naturally deep, go philosophical. If you're weird, embrace the randomness. If you're practical, even your shower thoughts probably solve problems.
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